"You have genital herpes."
Few other diagnoses carry this much shock, fear, and social baggage. For some people, it means learning to forgive themselves. For others, it means facing a spouse's infidelity. For all, it means learning to make lifestyle changes that will reduce the number of herpes breakouts and lower the chances of passing genital herpes along.
HSV2 is the virus that is usually involved in genital herpes. It can lie dormant at the base of the spine for years and then stress, a change in diet, or simply the phase of the moon may trigger a painful outbreak of lesions on the genital area. About 12% of people in the Western World have are infected with herpes, but only one in five of these people have been diagnosed. This means that people who are infected may spread the virus to several sexual partners without even realizing that they are doing so.
Protecting Yourself
One thing that many people don't realize is that herpes lesions around the mouth (e.g., cold sores) can be spread to the genitals. Although the virus that causes cold sores, HSV1, tends to be less severe and cause fewer outbreaks in the genital region, it is still contagious. For this reason, a condom is necessary for people who have herpes.
Another mistake many patients make is assuming that they cannot infect a partner if they don't have lesions. Wrong. Even if the person with herpes abstains from sex entirely while he or she has active lesions, there is still a 10% chance per year of passing the infection to their partner during the dormant phase of the disease.
Early Symptoms
When you are first infected with herpes, you will probably exhibit a week or two of symptoms which may include swollen glands, fever, and fatigue as well as urinary symptoms such as inability to urinate and pain while urinating. Most people write these symptoms off as being due to a case of the flu or a urinary tract infection and don't bother to investigate further.
Later Symptoms
Most genital herpes infections are confined to the genitals. During the active phase of infections, women typically develop painful lesions on their vulva and labia, and men develop lesions on the scrotum and penis. Anti-viral drugs can help shorten the course of herpes outbreaks. Continuing anti-viral therapy may reduce the number of outbreaks as well.
During dormant times, no lesions are visible on the genitals and the infected person usually feels no pain or discomfort. However, it is important to remember that even though lesions are not visible, the infected person may still pass the disease on to his or her sexual partners.
How often the HSV2 virus recurs depends on many things. During the early years, recurrences may happen as often as five to twelve times per year. As the patient gets more used to managing his or her condition, however, outbreaks become less frequent and severe.
Common factors that seem to influence outbreaks include stress, poor diet, not getting enough rest, and damage to the skin such as sunburn. In women, the menstrual cycle may be related to outbreaks.
People on anti-viral therapy tend to have fewer outbreaks, so talk to your doctor about the possibility of taking medication for your herpes. It is important to remember, however, that if you stop taking the medication, the herpes lesions are likely to recur fairly quickly.
Psychological Aspects
Our society attaches a lot of guilt and shame to sexually transmitted diseases such as herpes. Because it is behavior based, some people judge that herpes patients are at fault and therefore deserve no sympathy. It is important to remember, however, that there are literally dozens of diseases either caused or made worse by our behavioral choices (e.g., lung cancer, diabetes, liver disease), and few of them share the stigma of sexually transmitted diseases. If your doctor gives you an attitude, or worse, a lecture, find another doctor quickly. You need someone who will treat you non-judgmentally and compassionately.
If you continue to feel plagued by poor self esteem, anxiety, feelings of worthlessness, sadness, etc., consider a few sessions with a psychologist or psychiatrist who can help you find ways to improve your mood and self esteem.
Conclusion
Nobody wants to hear that they have genital herpes, but it doesn't need to spell the end of your happiness, nor does it mean lifelong celibacy. Like any other chronic health condition, it can be managed through medication, lifestyle changes, and a positive attitude.